2008 Woodie Awards
Minus the City
Elisa Benson
Issue date: 10/14/05 Section: Commentary
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One of the great questions of our time, ranking among the likes of "chicken versus egg" and "to be or not to be," is the perplexing conundrum of whether or not it is appropriate, desirable, or even necessary for a woman to fake an orgasm.
During a morning-after analysis of a housemate's recent sexcapade, my roommates agreed that a heterosexual woman in an ongoing relationship (i.e., formal boyfriend-girlfriend scenario or semi-monogamous continual hook up) should opt to fake an orgasm when necessary.
You've all been there (all you ladies, anyway): naked, bored, wondering if it would be an impolite to offer to finish the job on your own. The guy is breathing heavily and obviously working hard, but whatever supposedly orgasm-inducing activity he's performing has extended just a few minutes too long, and truth is, you'd rather be at home with your vibrator. What's a twenty-first century gal to do?
"Sometimes you just want to get it over with," said one sophomore woman I caught mid-email check at the Coop. "That's always my philosophy."
Though a well-acted series of shakes and moans seems the easy way out, why go through all the motions and stop just short of the grand finale? After all, nothing will deter your partner more from really making you come than pretending you just did.
However, my roommates argued that building up a man's sexual confidence will make him more susceptible to gentle suggestions for improvement ("Actually, my clitoris is right here") in the future. In other words, he's more apt to hit the homerun if he believes he's got a good batting average - whether or not he's really posting the numbers.
One roommate estimated it approximately ten fake orgasms - during which, you slowly introduce more complicated maneuvers to the beau in question - before he's built up the skill set required to cause a real one. That's a lot of batting practice.
But should we really decide to surrender all chances of getting off and go with a big fake O?
During a morning-after analysis of a housemate's recent sexcapade, my roommates agreed that a heterosexual woman in an ongoing relationship (i.e., formal boyfriend-girlfriend scenario or semi-monogamous continual hook up) should opt to fake an orgasm when necessary.
You've all been there (all you ladies, anyway): naked, bored, wondering if it would be an impolite to offer to finish the job on your own. The guy is breathing heavily and obviously working hard, but whatever supposedly orgasm-inducing activity he's performing has extended just a few minutes too long, and truth is, you'd rather be at home with your vibrator. What's a twenty-first century gal to do?
"Sometimes you just want to get it over with," said one sophomore woman I caught mid-email check at the Coop. "That's always my philosophy."
Though a well-acted series of shakes and moans seems the easy way out, why go through all the motions and stop just short of the grand finale? After all, nothing will deter your partner more from really making you come than pretending you just did.
However, my roommates argued that building up a man's sexual confidence will make him more susceptible to gentle suggestions for improvement ("Actually, my clitoris is right here") in the future. In other words, he's more apt to hit the homerun if he believes he's got a good batting average - whether or not he's really posting the numbers.
One roommate estimated it approximately ten fake orgasms - during which, you slowly introduce more complicated maneuvers to the beau in question - before he's built up the skill set required to cause a real one. That's a lot of batting practice.
But should we really decide to surrender all chances of getting off and go with a big fake O?