2008 Woodie Awards
Minus the City
Elisa Benson
Issue date: 9/22/05 Section: Commentary
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A few weeks back I encouraged Colgate students to mix a little more talk with their sex. Upon further reflection, I've identified an initial oversight: many phrases related to sex, suck.
To begin with, the idea of "losing your virginity" makes as much sense as calling a blow job a blow job. It's not like "Oh, where'd my virginity go, I must have misplaced it," (nor is it like, "Oh, I'll just blow on your penis instead of putting it in my mouth"). Having sex for the first time is something that requires mutual consent and at least some degree of planning (aka, that uncomfortable joint trip to the condom aisle of Wal-Mart where you inevitably run into someone from your past life, probably an old teacher/professor or family acquaintance or the awkward conversation of deciding whether or not you'll need the Performax variety). Entering the world of intercourse must be a decision that accounts for possible emotional mayday, kidlets, and STDs that produce a cottage-cheese like discharge. It is most certainly not something you carelessly lose like your 'gate card after a night flirting with Rich Denoncourt at the Jug in hopes of getting a 21+ stamp.
And in our polarized, male / female, night / day, good / bad society, "losing" always has an implicit flipside. As summed up by junior student and off-the-record sexpert Cary Reed, "What is the opposite of losing your virginity, winning it? And if everyone wins it, what makes it so special?"
Unfortunately the runner-up vocab alternative of "popping your cherry" makes even less literal sense and has a more disgusting mental picture. Because "cherry" is adolescent boy code for "hymen," the phrase also implies that sex is a) between a man and a woman (which is so not in accordance with the twenty-first century) and that b) sex is something a male does to a woman, rather than something involving the male and female. I understand the aspect of anatomy here, but why "popping your cherry" instead of "cupping your cock"? Or "popping your penis," for that matter. It's not like anything is really being popped in this scenario (brief medical lesson, most women's hymens break from using tampons, riding bikes, or situations otherwise unrelated to sexual activity). So I vote we embrace "popping the penis."
To begin with, the idea of "losing your virginity" makes as much sense as calling a blow job a blow job. It's not like "Oh, where'd my virginity go, I must have misplaced it," (nor is it like, "Oh, I'll just blow on your penis instead of putting it in my mouth"). Having sex for the first time is something that requires mutual consent and at least some degree of planning (aka, that uncomfortable joint trip to the condom aisle of Wal-Mart where you inevitably run into someone from your past life, probably an old teacher/professor or family acquaintance or the awkward conversation of deciding whether or not you'll need the Performax variety). Entering the world of intercourse must be a decision that accounts for possible emotional mayday, kidlets, and STDs that produce a cottage-cheese like discharge. It is most certainly not something you carelessly lose like your 'gate card after a night flirting with Rich Denoncourt at the Jug in hopes of getting a 21+ stamp.
And in our polarized, male / female, night / day, good / bad society, "losing" always has an implicit flipside. As summed up by junior student and off-the-record sexpert Cary Reed, "What is the opposite of losing your virginity, winning it? And if everyone wins it, what makes it so special?"
Unfortunately the runner-up vocab alternative of "popping your cherry" makes even less literal sense and has a more disgusting mental picture. Because "cherry" is adolescent boy code for "hymen," the phrase also implies that sex is a) between a man and a woman (which is so not in accordance with the twenty-first century) and that b) sex is something a male does to a woman, rather than something involving the male and female. I understand the aspect of anatomy here, but why "popping your cherry" instead of "cupping your cock"? Or "popping your penis," for that matter. It's not like anything is really being popped in this scenario (brief medical lesson, most women's hymens break from using tampons, riding bikes, or situations otherwise unrelated to sexual activity). So I vote we embrace "popping the penis."