2008 Woodie Awards
Reckless Rhetoric
Matt Oja
Issue date: 2/4/05 Section: Commentary
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Some random observations and musings while wondering how Ferris Bueller's dad has led Illinois to 22 wins in its first 22 games:
Professors who smoke - not cool. Aren't these folks supposed to be paradigms of good behavior? You're trying to teach us; lemme teach you something: don't smoke. That s--- is disgusting. It's a filthy habit and I'd rather not see you guys doing it. If you're really that addicted to your cancer sticks, at least keep it on the low. Don't stand right outside the main entrance to an academic building whilst lighting up. I'm not trying to catch second-hand smoke from you - and if I have to deal with that, then I'd better get an extra letter grade from your ass. (My four professors don't look like smokers, but if they are ... um ... I don't know how to finish this sentence. Please treat me gently.)
On the other hand, if it's sticky, then it's acceptable. I have fond memories of smoking a blunt with a visiting professor during spring of my first-year at some random party. No complaints there.
Congrats on the selection of Danny Glover as a Black History Month speaker. That's a judicious use of funds (he's gotta be a lot cheaper than Spike Lee); moreover, Glover's a bright guy and a good speaker. I'm looking forward to this.
Speaking of how University money is distributed, why not just pour the whole lot into Spring Party Weekend? I was just reading the week's Senate Minutes (yeah, I'm one weird kid). Seriously, we talk about spending money on a lot of dumb s---. Covered Drunk Bus stops? Why not just get every possible musical act to come to SPW? The Wailers were crazy last year (nah, I'm not gonna tell my cyph with the Wailers story again). I heard TI is coming this year - good times. Let's get a lot more acts and get reckless. I mean, I think Colgate owes us. They've already bumped up SPW by three weeks, which definitely ranks on the Ten Most Underhanded Things The Administration Has Done Since August 20, 2001 List. Three weeks at the beginning of April could very well be the difference between 25 degrees and 75 degrees. To make up for this impending Winter Party Weekend, we'll need some diversions from the weather. (Wow; that should not have been one paragraph. What up run-on ideas.)
Professors who smoke - not cool. Aren't these folks supposed to be paradigms of good behavior? You're trying to teach us; lemme teach you something: don't smoke. That s--- is disgusting. It's a filthy habit and I'd rather not see you guys doing it. If you're really that addicted to your cancer sticks, at least keep it on the low. Don't stand right outside the main entrance to an academic building whilst lighting up. I'm not trying to catch second-hand smoke from you - and if I have to deal with that, then I'd better get an extra letter grade from your ass. (My four professors don't look like smokers, but if they are ... um ... I don't know how to finish this sentence. Please treat me gently.)
On the other hand, if it's sticky, then it's acceptable. I have fond memories of smoking a blunt with a visiting professor during spring of my first-year at some random party. No complaints there.
Congrats on the selection of Danny Glover as a Black History Month speaker. That's a judicious use of funds (he's gotta be a lot cheaper than Spike Lee); moreover, Glover's a bright guy and a good speaker. I'm looking forward to this.
Speaking of how University money is distributed, why not just pour the whole lot into Spring Party Weekend? I was just reading the week's Senate Minutes (yeah, I'm one weird kid). Seriously, we talk about spending money on a lot of dumb s---. Covered Drunk Bus stops? Why not just get every possible musical act to come to SPW? The Wailers were crazy last year (nah, I'm not gonna tell my cyph with the Wailers story again). I heard TI is coming this year - good times. Let's get a lot more acts and get reckless. I mean, I think Colgate owes us. They've already bumped up SPW by three weeks, which definitely ranks on the Ten Most Underhanded Things The Administration Has Done Since August 20, 2001 List. Three weeks at the beginning of April could very well be the difference between 25 degrees and 75 degrees. To make up for this impending Winter Party Weekend, we'll need some diversions from the weather. (Wow; that should not have been one paragraph. What up run-on ideas.)