2008 Woodie Awards
Voluptuous Mannequins Are the Wave of the Future
Victoria Klarfled
Issue date: 11/19/04 Section: Commentary
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Skinny is the new emaciated.
The new Goddess line of mannequins has come out swinging its rickety little arms in protest of a typical mannequin's measurements, 32A-23-33. For those not familiar with this sort of measurement, that means a 32A bra size, a 23-inch waist measured just above the navel, and 33-inch hips, measured around the widest part of the buttocks.
The Goddess mannequin, made by Ralph Pucci, comes in at the shocking measurement of 34B-25-35.5. It's that half inch that really gets people hot. Mr. Pucci noted that the new mannequins' measurements are meant to "remind you of the sexiness."
Hang on a second. "Remind you of the sexiness?" Had you forgotten? Though I suppose 32A-23-33 might make you think you were looking at an 11-year-old girl, so 34B-25-35.5 would at least push you into the realm of puberty and sexual attraction - to a mannequin. Whatever turns you on, I guess.
Reading about the new mannequins' measurements is the kind of thing that could send a girl running for the tape measure-and in my case it did.
Holy mackerel! If that great whopping 34B-25-35.5 will "remind you of the sexiness," I'm practically pornographic and probably borderline offensive. I never thought my 34C-26-38 measurements were particularly scandalous, but apparently I'm some form of earthly Venus - I don't even have the modesty to take off a half inch here and there. Ooh, remind them of the sexiness, indeed.
But people like Michael Steward, Executive Vice President of the more traditional mannequin company Adel Rootstein USA, seem to think that even my less lascivious 34B-25-35.5 compatriots are obscene. His company's mannequins, the 32A-23-33-type models, he characterized in The New York Times as "a tall Size 2 to 4. 'Not too skinny, not too voluptuous.'"
Of course! A size 2 to 4 is just about average, I'd say - definitely not too voluptuous. The rest of my buxom Size-6 crew had better be careful not to incite any riots with such outrageous measurements as ours. Mr. Steward continued in defense of his wispy mannequins, saying "there's a difference between what people look like and what they want to look like - they want to see what they're trying to look like."
The new Goddess line of mannequins has come out swinging its rickety little arms in protest of a typical mannequin's measurements, 32A-23-33. For those not familiar with this sort of measurement, that means a 32A bra size, a 23-inch waist measured just above the navel, and 33-inch hips, measured around the widest part of the buttocks.
The Goddess mannequin, made by Ralph Pucci, comes in at the shocking measurement of 34B-25-35.5. It's that half inch that really gets people hot. Mr. Pucci noted that the new mannequins' measurements are meant to "remind you of the sexiness."
Hang on a second. "Remind you of the sexiness?" Had you forgotten? Though I suppose 32A-23-33 might make you think you were looking at an 11-year-old girl, so 34B-25-35.5 would at least push you into the realm of puberty and sexual attraction - to a mannequin. Whatever turns you on, I guess.
Reading about the new mannequins' measurements is the kind of thing that could send a girl running for the tape measure-and in my case it did.
Holy mackerel! If that great whopping 34B-25-35.5 will "remind you of the sexiness," I'm practically pornographic and probably borderline offensive. I never thought my 34C-26-38 measurements were particularly scandalous, but apparently I'm some form of earthly Venus - I don't even have the modesty to take off a half inch here and there. Ooh, remind them of the sexiness, indeed.
But people like Michael Steward, Executive Vice President of the more traditional mannequin company Adel Rootstein USA, seem to think that even my less lascivious 34B-25-35.5 compatriots are obscene. His company's mannequins, the 32A-23-33-type models, he characterized in The New York Times as "a tall Size 2 to 4. 'Not too skinny, not too voluptuous.'"
Of course! A size 2 to 4 is just about average, I'd say - definitely not too voluptuous. The rest of my buxom Size-6 crew had better be careful not to incite any riots with such outrageous measurements as ours. Mr. Steward continued in defense of his wispy mannequins, saying "there's a difference between what people look like and what they want to look like - they want to see what they're trying to look like."