2008 Woodie Awards
Minus the City
Sex advice from New York's best.
Elisa Benson '06
Issue date: 11/12/04 Section: Commentary
- Page 1 of 1
The other day, dinner conversation with a few of my sorority sisters turned to our upcoming formal. "Why do guys think getting asked to a formal is like the freaking prom?" one girl asked. "They get all caught up in thinking it means something! When all I really want is ass!"
My sorority sisters are not the first people to sound the anti-relationship alarm. Turn on HBO, MTV or any radio station as proof that women embrace their position as sexual beings. Yet when it comes 'round formal time, we still have to ensure we're not giving any guy the wrong impression by extending an invitation. While most of the time these crossed signals encourage an "I'm not your boyfriend so I'm not going," response (read that in grunt-like football player speak), the assumption that Formal Date = New Partner also has the opposite effect. One of our sisters has a good guy friend she'd love to bring, but he just couldn't handle it. He'd want something more, like a relationship, the poor guy.
Or take guys like "Steve," who last semester broke off late night rendezvous-ing with my roommate because he "didn't want a relationship." Keep in mind this was a purely friends-with-benefits kind of thing, and my roommate never said she wanted something more serious. But apparently being available, flirty and female meant she wanted Steve to maintain a steady job and father her children.
Anne jumps into our dinner debate: "I know one school where all the girls exclusively look for long term relationships. It's a Mormon school."
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The only thing more fake than 70% of female orgasms (true stat!) is the myth that females always want a relationship. To be honest, we would probably initiate a lot more booty calls if we didn't have to worry about the recipient acting like we're crazed relationship-stalkers all the time. This is one night of college debauchery, not A Walk to Remember.
Women proclaim the opposite again and again, but persistent male society still labels us as husband hunters. Why is it so hard to believe that some girls, sometimes, just want play? Lest you forget, the clitoris has more nerve endings than the penis, and women are capable of multiple orgasms (without a nap). So who started spreading the rumor that if we ask you to a formal, for coffee or to hang out and watch Super Troopers, it means we want to be with you forever and ever? I'm guessing the same confused person who decided all sorority girls have naked pillow fights.
So yes, sometimes girls just want to have fun. But this information comes with a few disclaimers. First, this announced pleasure drive in no way implies that women always want to hook up, so please don't use this article to justify any lurking sleazy behavior. That's called sexual assault.
Second, this info should not be used as a "get out of being-a-decent-human-being free" card. We may want ass, but not from an asshole. So show us a good time first and maybe we'll let you show us a good time later, too - no relationships attached.
My sorority sisters are not the first people to sound the anti-relationship alarm. Turn on HBO, MTV or any radio station as proof that women embrace their position as sexual beings. Yet when it comes 'round formal time, we still have to ensure we're not giving any guy the wrong impression by extending an invitation. While most of the time these crossed signals encourage an "I'm not your boyfriend so I'm not going," response (read that in grunt-like football player speak), the assumption that Formal Date = New Partner also has the opposite effect. One of our sisters has a good guy friend she'd love to bring, but he just couldn't handle it. He'd want something more, like a relationship, the poor guy.
Or take guys like "Steve," who last semester broke off late night rendezvous-ing with my roommate because he "didn't want a relationship." Keep in mind this was a purely friends-with-benefits kind of thing, and my roommate never said she wanted something more serious. But apparently being available, flirty and female meant she wanted Steve to maintain a steady job and father her children.
Anne jumps into our dinner debate: "I know one school where all the girls exclusively look for long term relationships. It's a Mormon school."
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The only thing more fake than 70% of female orgasms (true stat!) is the myth that females always want a relationship. To be honest, we would probably initiate a lot more booty calls if we didn't have to worry about the recipient acting like we're crazed relationship-stalkers all the time. This is one night of college debauchery, not A Walk to Remember.
Women proclaim the opposite again and again, but persistent male society still labels us as husband hunters. Why is it so hard to believe that some girls, sometimes, just want play? Lest you forget, the clitoris has more nerve endings than the penis, and women are capable of multiple orgasms (without a nap). So who started spreading the rumor that if we ask you to a formal, for coffee or to hang out and watch Super Troopers, it means we want to be with you forever and ever? I'm guessing the same confused person who decided all sorority girls have naked pillow fights.
So yes, sometimes girls just want to have fun. But this information comes with a few disclaimers. First, this announced pleasure drive in no way implies that women always want to hook up, so please don't use this article to justify any lurking sleazy behavior. That's called sexual assault.
Second, this info should not be used as a "get out of being-a-decent-human-being free" card. We may want ass, but not from an asshole. So show us a good time first and maybe we'll let you show us a good time later, too - no relationships attached.