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Colgate’s social atmosphere, in and even out of fraternities, has reduced many relationships between men and women to one devoid of human tenderness, commitment and compassion. This social scene, where women and men are little more than bodies, reinforces rigid gender roles. It feeds a cult of masculinity. Men become predators. Women become the prey. Men in this culture are qualified only to manage the company of men. Women manage the company of women.
This bifurcation of the campus along rigid and defined gender lines creates two groups with pre-established identities. When men and women come together in a social setting the encounter is usually dominated by the drunken “hook-up.” These “hook-ups” rarely lead to sustained relationships. And those who do not engage in this distorted behavior, who refuse to abide by these social rules, become outsiders.
Difference is not permitted. How does the gay man feel among his brothers? How does a lesbian feel among her sisters? How does a woman, who finds certain social outings demeaning, stand up to the men facilitating the event walk out? Where do those who want something more than a drunken one night stand
find space?
All institutions bear the scars of their history. Colgate, unlike colleges such as Bates or Oberlin, was very late to admit Jews, Blacks and women. Presidents of Colgate once openly denigrated these gender or ethnic groups. There is a powerful block of alumni who remember and at some level embrace this discrimination. They act as a dead weight on those who advocate reform and equality. We have, however, come a long way since the days of George Cutten. His crude racism and sexism is now considered impolite. But the labeling and the conformity to a white, male culture continues to poison
the campus.
Colgate is an inhospitable place to women and men who refuse to conform to these defined roles. People of color, those on scholarship, those within the LGBT community or those deeply sickened by the social scene can speak more eloquently than I to the subtle and overt forms of discrimination they endure. The pressure to be promiscuous, to “explore” sexuality and omit love, as well as to be pretty, or at least pretty as defined by the standards of a Connecticut prep school, makes Colgate very stifling for those who do not wish
to conform.
The Campus Climate Survey (CCLS) of 2009, for these reasons, found that more than 75 percent of women at Colgate had experienced sexist hostility. One in seven women had experienced sexual assault, which is defined as oral, vaginal or anal penetration without consent. These are numbers you might expect to find in some failed backwater where the rule of law did not exist.
“Colgate is male dominated,” said a woman in the sophomore class and a sorority member, who asked that I not use her name. “The men control the hook-up culture. The guys have the power to change it to a dating culture. But they choose
not to.”
The CCLS found that “women are much less happy with the dating and hook-up culture than men,” and that “women report feeling more pressure to drink.” The female student added that the social scene at Colgate “wouldn’t last at a school
like Wesleyan.”
Physical appearance becomes, in this culture, paramount. One in four women admitted to “thinking about body image and food to the extent that it affects their daily moods.”
Almost 20 percent “compensate for eating ‘bad’ foods by purging or doing extra exercise.” Only one-third of Colgate students report being in a relationship. I suspect that for long-term couples this figure is much lower.
“I think that boys deep down want a relationship,” the sorority sister continued. “I’ve known plenty of guys that hook-up with a girl and their friends ask ‘oooh, is she your girlfriend?’ I think that the other kids are a little jealous, and look to make their friend feel embarrassed about it.”
Any measure of a community, of its capacity for justice, tolerance and compassion, is determined by how those who are different are treated. Privileged white male chauvinism, which runs deep in this school’s veins, continues to make Colgate a place where only a certain type of woman and a certain type of man is considered worthy of respect. And this, at a moment in our lives when we should discover our individuality, leaves us as stunted as the alumni who work to keep Colgate frozen in a time warp.
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peace
Does it make you feel accomplished that you are the only male to ever take every women's studies course at Colgate?