Minus The City

It's that time of year again. Classes are starting up, you're desperately yet unsuccessfully trying to make it into and out of the bookstore in less than two hours and that guy you hooked up with last semester finally went abroad and you don't have to hide anymore. The semester is young, and we're all embracing the joy that is a slightly busier version of Camp Colgate.

For the most part, we don't have too much work, so why not go out every night?

Nothing says to your professor, "I'm here to learn and invest myself in everything you have to teach me" better than showing up to your first class still drunk from the night before. So what if it's a Tuesday? Can't win 'em all.

However, no matter how much we tell ourselves otherwise, we all want to stick to our New Year's res­olutions and start the new semester off with a bang (figuratively speaking, that is…kind of ). Maybe you wanted to go out less on weekdays, stop procrasti­nating so much, maybe even stop Facebook stalk­ing that really hot guy who sits behind you in your English class.

But unfortunately, Camp Colgate strikes again and your resolutions, along with most of your dig­nity, go out the window before you can do anything about it.

I have this…ahem…friend, who had all of these aforementioned resolutions. Well, maybe not the Face­book stalking one. God knows we can never really stop doing that.

This friend of mine made the decision after her many obvious drunken classroom escapades last se­mester that she shouldn't go out when she has class in the morning. She also decided that maybe she should start saying "no" when complete strangers who appar­ently don't even go to this school start trying to hook up with her.

Fun fact: hooking up with visitors actually works out pretty well; if you're someone who likes to walk from Frank to Case without passing 12 people that you've gotten with, then these are for you.

If you're not one of these people then…that's cool too, I guess.

But I digress. Anyway, as always, the Jug and its mys­terious allure bamboozled her into believing that all of these things were appropriate. Well, that, and the exces­sive amount of booze. While we can't say, unfortunately, that this friend of mine stuck to her guns and kept her resolutions in mind while still managing to have an awe­some night, we can say that she has visible and hilarious examples of shame.

Also, beware of history repeating itself in the new semester. You'll often find that many of the things that happened this time last year start happening again, and even more often you'll find that it's just as stupid now as it was then.

For example, maybe don't hook up with that guy you spent all of last year running away from because he has a bad case of the Clingy and an even worse case of the Not- Knowing-How-To-Kiss-y.

Also, you should probably avoid that guy who wears bright sweaters to parties and then makes his way around your circle of friends trying to dance with every single one of them before casually slap­ping your butt and walking away, all the while trying to force you to take sips of his beer.

Newsflash: the butt slap was not casual, and no, I didn't like it, nor will it make me want to come find you later and hang out.

To all of you who thought you'd come back to school and change your ways, it's important that you be realistic: Fraturday will always take precedent over your exam on Monday, you will inevitably walk past at least five people you know on your walk of shame and old habits die hard.

All this "new year, new you" crap? Forget about it. I say we embrace our shameful ways and do what we do best at this school: get wasted on weeknights and make out with the kid who sits behind you in class. After all, you're homework will always be there, but the hours downtown are limited.

Contact Sara Steinfeld at srsteinfeld@colgate.edu.